Fuck you McDonald's, II

Check this out boys and girls. McDonald's seeks patents on sandwich making -

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,232373,00.html

On some bright sunny day in the not too distant future you could violate patent laws by making a sandwich in your own home! Yay!

More Korean Video

Fuck you, McDonald's

FYI. I don't live in America. I exist more or less outside of the McDonald's umbrella...which means that there're only 2 or 3 Micky D's within a mile of where I'm sitting, instead of, say, 20. And I only visit McDonald's once, maybe twice a month these days...which given my history and normal eating patterns back home is pretty fucking rare, trust me.

But I couldn't let this pass.

I was reading my hometown paper's website today and I saw an ad at the top of the screen for, get this, the 'McRib Farewell Tour II.' 2. As in, we already had a fucking farewell tour for the McRib last year, but you stupid suckers'll come crawling back for some more of that pink gooey BBQ sauce covered shit so we're gonna have another go at it.

Where the fuck do these McDonald's assholes get off? It's like they're not even trying anymore. You know these advertising types were just sitting around in their office doing their usual intellectual masturbation and one of them was like, "d00ds, we totally need to bring back the McRib, coz the idiots who eat our shit haven't cottoned on to that whole carrot and stick thing we've got going on...but how to bring it back? We retired it last year, d00ds!"

And then d00d 2 was all like "why don't we just have another Farewell Tour, you know, like all of those aging rockers who keep coming back for another tour to squeeze a few more dimes out of their decrepit geriatric fan base whose pathetic existence is periodically rejustified by lurid bands of grandfathers singing about sexual liberties and the political issues of 50 years ago...and to pretend to be 'cool' and 'in on' the whole thing we'll call it Farewell Tour II."

"Great idea, Chad," says d00d 1. "And we can design this whole hipster internet site that will totally speak to the rock and roll generation whom we will be exploiting and simultaneously appealing to purchase our disgusting product."

Which is what they did. Check it out-

http://www.mcrib.com./

I encourage you to visit this website. Marvel at the depths to which Western civilization has sunk. Introduce yourself to the weirdly gesticulating late 20s/early 30s ish woman (young enough to appeal to 60 year olds but old enough for it to not be entirely creepy) who greets mcrib.com's visitors. She encourages us to "rock out" with "t-shirts, downloads" and other merchandise. She wears a shirt with a picture of a bone on it with a cross through it. No boners? I have to admit I don't get that one. After she's said her spiel she rocks her head back and forth repeatedly, obsessively crosses and uncrosses her arms, while the mcrib band performs a sound check in the background. Throngs of people who've apparently been worked up into a frenzy over the 2nd coming of the mcrib sandwich teem in the background, they've gathered themselves together to pay homage to a disgusting slab of processed meat.

My thanks to Mcdonald's for restoring my faith in the worst of humanity.

Thanks Mom + Dad

Now I just have to eat all of that....I had the collards and some mashed potatoes for dinner last night...it was good...

Today in Seoul...

So I went into Seoul today to run a few errands and whatnot...I wound up picking up an iPod...what can I say, I'd been thinking about getting one for a while and decidede to splurge. But the point of this post is related to this article -

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061125/ap_on_bi_ge/skorea_us_free_trade

I was in Gwanghwamun when this was going down and I actually checked it out. A few pics not featured in the story you read above:

Of Birthday Parties...

We had our monthly birthday party today. A coupla blog worthy pics.

I think I'm becoming an ajoshi

For those not in the know, an ajoshi is an older married Korean man who is deserving of respect because he can pass out drunk on soju on the sidewalk, force his way to the front of any line, and treat the world and his supposed inferiors with contempt. Apparently.



Anyway, I say this not because I long ago abandoned any pretense of courtesy and any notion of kindness to strangers and started elbowing my way through teeming throngs of eldery Korean grandmothers with the best of them. Nor do I say this because public drinking out in front of the convenience store has long been an unquestioned habit for me here in Korea. Nor is it because on the way home a few nights ago I crashed my bike (I was completely wasted at the time - riding my bike home for a few miles seemed like a good idea at the time) and made a complete ass outta myself and fucked up my knee a little bit, check it out:

No, I say this because today I was walking home from work. The wind was blowing. It was cool, but not uncomfortable. My mind was on something else. I'd had a pizza the night before, and a few Cass to wash it down. So without even thinking about it, way out there in the middle of the public arena, I let fly a rip roarin fart.

I didn't even realize what I'd done until it was over. A woman walking nearby totally heard it, and probably caught a whiff of it, too. She gave me a surprised, not shocked, and an offended, but by no means appalled, look. Sure, she's heard ajoshis fart in public all the time, but never a waygookin, still, there was something about this one that made it so it wasn't ALL wrong. I suppose I almost looked the part, I do after all carry a stately paunch around with me most everywhere I go.

But what was really enlightening about the whole incident, and what made me realize I was approaching a higher level of ajoshi consciousness, was that I just didn't care. It didn't bother me what this woman thought...fuck it, if I wanted to fart who was she to question me? Who cares if she has to be exposed to my noxious drafts? I've got that right, haven't I?

I suppose there are worse fates.

I found another way to waste time

So the other day I realized the camera I'd bought 6 months ago, the same one I'd pretty much let sit unmolested on my counter for the past few months, can record low quality video and sound. After making and deleting a bunch of really tedious videos wherein I walk around my apartment and marvel at the squalor I decided to take it to school the other day. I recorded an unfortunately long and dull "discussion" with my 1st year students during lunch. Its length is only matched by its incomprehensibility, but, the kids are cute. Enjoy.

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