Facebook and Birthdays

It was my birthday last week. Don't worry, I didn't care either.

I'm still young, but I'm getting to the point where birthdays are no longer a cause for celebration.

"Has it been ANOTHER year already?" I've asked myself on the birthday eves of recent years during which the impact of the day is considered.

And nowadays, not only do you have to deal with the real life stresses of the anniversary of your birth, but you also have to deal with all the goddamn facebook well-wishers.

I deliberately removed my birthday from my account several months ago, in the hopes that the day would pass unnoticed, and there were still a dozen of so people who were compelled to wish me a happy day. Here's a message to facebook birthday whores: fuck off.

I don't want to hear from you. I'm not going to wish you a happy birthday on your page when your day rolls around. I don't care about your birthday and I'll thank you to return the favor. If I see you in real life, and it's your birthday, I'm happy to wish you the best. But via facebook? Nope.

And now comes the worst part. I have to write insipid little thank you notes to all of these goons. Every fucking one of 'em. If I skip over ONE PERSON, then I guarandamntee you that person will be super offended.

"Why did he thank janie and not me?" judie will ask herself. And then she'll cry her fat little face to sleep.

It's times like these that make me want to abandon it all and get a shack in the woods, Kacyznski-style.