Roger and Me

Hey! HEY! Look over here! You're not going to be distracted from my witty musings by some soft core porn, are you?

Seriously, I searched google images for "star trek" and that was one of the first images that popped up. So, I thought, why not? Besides, it's a shame Enterprise was canceled just as it was hitting its stride.

But I digress. The point of this post is thus: I have come here to bury Star Trek, not to praise it. As far as I can tell, in the near future, the Star Trek that we pasty corpulent bug-eyed geeks loved a little too much, well, that Star Trek is dead. Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek is long gone.

I saw the movie. I saw it the first day it came out, in one of the first screenings. I couldn't wait to jump into it. And for the first 30 minutes or so, I was really digging it.

But then something stupid happened. Then another fortuitous dodge, another lucky duck, another chase scene, another witty line dropped perfectly post-action scene-climax, another wink at the camera, another unBElievable coincidence, another shot of the inarticulate brooding villain in his cavernous pointy Death Star, another Ewok scene (yes, by Zeus' beard there's an actual Ewok in this movie (Scotty's sidekick)), another shot of Winona Ryder attempting to emote...and...I'd had enough.

This is an action movie. Don't get me wrong, I like action movies. I like action movies because they're an excuse to have a carefree 2 hours and down a bucket of popcorn. But Star Trek is supposed to be something more than that. It is supposed to have a message. Yeah, that means it won't always be as popular as franchises like Star Wars or Die Hard. But it will be better. And by trying to blend those two popular film series and slapping the name "Star Trek" on the regurgitated steaming pile of excrement you've produced, you're devaluing the series overall. And that pisses me off.

Yes, I'm a geek, and yes there's a great Onion story that essentially zings me (see below), but at least I'm not completely alone in this view. Roger Ebert essentially agrees with me (or less presumptively, I with him). So I guess I'll have to take solace in that.


Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'