Gay Catholics

Got your attention? Nice. Let me explain.

So, I've started a new job. I wrapped up things at CIS mid-January, spent a month in Thailand (yeah, it rocked), then headed back here mid-February for my friends' going away bash. After the tears were dried it was off to the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education (SMOE hereafter) orientation week for day after day of tedious explanations on how to use the subway and write hangeul and come up with classroom activites and blah blah blah. Thank the maker I had some roomies and met some cool folks who were up for sneaking off campus and whetting our whistles from time to time.

At the end of orientation, I was given my assignment. I got a Catholic (score!) high school (score!) teaching all boys (damn!) in Hyehwa (score! - trust me on this one). But what's most interesting about my school is its name.

First, some background information. The Korean language has been heavily influenced by Chinese, and indeed for most of its history Chinese characters were used for everyday correspondence. Hangeul (Korean script) wasn't commonly used in Korea until (checking wikipedia...) the late 19th century. Nowadays, it's ubiquitous and almost exclusively used, Chinese characters rarely show up and when they do it's usually on offical documents, building names, things like that.

As such, many Chinese characters are written in Hangeul in modern Korean, and this can cause confusion because the Chinese word may mean something entirely different than its Korean counterpart. In other words, there are a lot of double/triple/quadruple meanings, just as in English.

Still with me? Wow, what a trooper.

Which brings me to the name of my school. In Hangeul, it's written as such: 동성(Dong-Sung). I have no idea how to write in Chinese, so that will have to suffice. The Chinese characters mean "East Star," referring to Venus. Not a bad name, right?

But then we have the vernacular Korean. "Dong" can also mean same, and "Sung" can also mean gender, or sex. So...follow me?

Basically, the name of my school is "Catholic Gay High School," at least in everyday Korean. So, well, there you go.

Hello, new readers

I have no idea why, but my blog has gotten an extraordinary amount of hits lately. Which is odd, since it previously got, well, none, not really, and I haven't updated it in quite a while.

I've no ambition to change that at the moment, as I'm prone towards indolence and am currently on holiday in that most indolent of countries, Thailand.

But I just thougth I'd say hi.

Yet Another Koreans/Racism Article

This time it's in Foreign Policy. There's nothing new or particularly insightful here, still, it's interesting to read another "outsider's" view of Koreans and racism. Both the maligned Bucheon bus riding professor and Superbowl MVP/Korean hero Hines Ward are mentioned.

I found this part of the article to be the most noteworthy (quoting Ward's mother, who is Korean):

"Kim described in stark terms the discrimination she experienced before she immigrated to the United States. "What do you think would have become of us if I had kept living here with Hines? He would probably never have been able to be anything but a beggar. Do you think I would even have been able to get work cleaning houses?" she said while visiting the Pearl S. Buck Foundation in Seoul. "Koreans of the same skin color are even more racist among themselves. It doesn't make sense. If everybody hates our children so much because their skin is a different color, then why do Koreans run around dying their hair blond and red?""

Internal Dialogue While Riding the Subway Home From an Interview

Good Angel: Well, that was ok.

Bad Angel: Fuck, you blew it.

Good Angel: No, no, it went fine. She made polite small talk with you afterward, laughed a few times, spoke as if you already had the job...it went fine.

Bad Angel: Nope, you fuckin blew it. Did you see the size of the booger in your nose in the elevator mirror post-interview?

Good Angel: First of all, that wasn't a booger, it was a piece of dry skin, and second of all, it wasn't that big.

Bad Angel: It looked like something a 49er would've used as down payment on a California mansion. And I don't even want to talk about your voice.

Good Angel: I have a cold. And it's 0 fucking degrees outside. So it croaked a little.

Bad Angel: A little? You sounded positively pubescent.

Good Angel: Well that shouldn't have any effect on how she judged me.

Bad Angel: No, but your flubbed answers about dealing with classes with varying levels will.

Good Angel: I gave an ok answer...

Bad Angel: You gave an incomplete answer. You totally forgot to mention your best idea.

Good Angel: You're paranoid. I got into this program 9 months ago...I'll get in again.

Bad Angel: Yeah, and you just had to bring up how you turned them down, didn't you? I'm sure they'll look kindly on that.

Good Angel: Yeah...maybe shouldn't've mentioned that....I'm fucked, aren't I?

Bad Angel: Yup.

Racism In Korea

This is an interesting article about how "South Koreans struggle with race." It's an international story in part inspired by the incident on the bus in Bucheon from a few months back, which I linked to in a previous post. I don't have much to add other than to affirm that it is indeed true that many Koreans have despicable views concerning other races but that it's also unsurprising that they do considering their history and language.

Because You Demanded It...

Salvador Dali walking his anteater:

Have You Seen This Man?

Details of this fascinating internet hoax, er, phenomenon here.

Set Phasers To Stupid

Please forgive me, this is a little bit of a geek rant.

So I came across this story somehow, I dunno what happened, I just woke up and it was on my computer. Honest. Anyway, fascinating article.

But something about the cover, really, really pisses me off. Well, in a pretend kind of way. Take a look.


Did you catch it? Are you as outraged as I am? Ok, here's one more look.

You saw it, right? Ok, just in case you're blind, here it is:


This is Battlestar Galactica, not Star Trek, you halfwit genre ignorant savages at Maxim magazine! Get it right.

Winter Is Coming...

A coupla years ago I thought to myself, "hey, I'm a geek. How come I never read any fantasy novels?" So I started looking around to see which modern series/books were the most highly regarded, and I came across the Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin. I picked up the first book, A Game of Thrones, and let's just say I was hooked.

I've actually been re-reading the series these past few weeks, and just as when I first flew through the novels, some of the characters' argot has started to creep into my internal dialogues. I jokingly "swear by the old gods and the new," from time to time, for example. As I said, I'm a geek.

I highly recommend picking up the novels for yourself, even though the fourth is a bit of a letdown in the series and the fifth, which was supposed to be released years ago, is still unfinished segun the author's website. It's quite a wild ride.

Too busy to read? Intimidated by the hundreds of character names? Illiterate? Well, then, fear not, because HBO is here to help. A new series based on the first novel is beginning production this week, and it could be the next big HBO-thing, a la Rome or the Sopranos. Images of the actors portraying the principal characters were also released, see below:

I Knew It All Along

I am the worst man in the history of the planet. So says Australian anthropologist Peter McAllister in his new book, according to Reuters.

Modern men are weaker, slower, and don't even think about trying to compare our spear throwing skillz to those of our forebears. Were we magically transported back a few thousand years we'd miss out on all the best mammoth meat and would have to settle for whatever our swifter cousins deigned to share with us.

It seems reasonable, logical, even, and I'm sure this d00d has all sorts of watertight evidence to back up his claims, I mean, let's just take a look at this first one mentioned in the article:

"An analysis of the footsteps of one of the men, dubbed T8, shows he reached speeds of 37 kph on a soft, muddy lake edge. Bolt, by comparison, reached a top speed of 42 kph during his then world 100 meters record of 9.69 seconds at last year's Beijing Olympics.

In an interview in the English university town of Cambridge where he was temporarily resident, McAllister said that, with modern training, spiked shoes and rubberized tracks, aboriginal hunters might have reached speeds of 45 kph."

Oh, ok, I see, every human alive today is definitely slower than every human (or human ancestor) from the past because of some sun-baked footprints in the Australian outback and the supposition that with training and shoes and rubber tracks and whatnot Aboriginal Hunter X might be faster than Mr. Bolt, the current world record holder. Wow, what a rock solid foundation upon which to build your thesis, Dr. McAllister.

And there's something I bet those fleet footed Aboriginals didn't have: sarcasm. I don't care how fast you are you can't outrun a cutting remark.

McAllister also backs up his claims with some decades old German photography and the delightfully droll image of a stout Neanderthal woman arm-wrestling Arnold Schwarzanegger (sp) from the Conan the Barbarian days - I shit you not, read the damn article. Suffice it to say, I'm not sold.

Just because a great number of men in developed countries have loosened their belts and let their javelin tossing skillz slide does not mean we are lacking in potential when compared to our less civilized ancestors. Besides, overall this kind of development is a good thing. Am I supposed to be ashamed that I know more about trigonometry than I do about killing a tiger?

Fuck you, McAllister, on behalf of men everywhere.

Old Korean Man Acts Like An Ass; A Nation Is Stunned

Well, perhaps I exaggerate a little but I found this article interesting because a)it happened in Bucheon, not 2 miles from where I now type and 2)the offended actually had the cajones to do something about it.

Among the international racist community old men probably constitute a significant majority, and in Korea things are no different. In my 2 1/2 years I haven't had anything really bad thrown my way, probably because, well, let's just say I've spent more time rambling alone than with a lissome Korean beauty dangling from my arm like a piece of inane jewelry. But on those rare occasions when the fairer sex deigned to accompany me publicly, like the Indian gentleman in the article I've been subject to the disapproving eyes and kimchi-flavored mutterings of that over-common Korean bird, the angry adjeossi.

From the story:
"As the bus traveled toward Bucheon City Hall, a neatly dressed Korean man, who was sitting behind them yelled, ``What a disgusting odor! You're dirty.''

The Korean, later identified as Park, kept shouting, ``You must be an Arab. It's dirty. F*** you!''

One marvels at the sophistication manifest in the "neatly dressed" Mr. Park's diatribe. Were I not so cynical I might wonder if reincarnation really is a fact of life, as it seems the wit of Oscar Wilde has been reborn. "You're dirty." Indeed. What heights of verbosity will Mr. Park attain next? What summits of perspicacity will he climb? Ah, yes, "Fuck you." Pronounced, no doubt, as "Puck you." Koreans have trouble with their "F"s.

These small minded trolls would be amusing if they weren't so prevalent. You try taking a taxi, riding a bus, shopping at a "syupa" or, I dunno, walking down the street without running into one of Mr. Park's esteemed contemporaries, and let me know how that works out buddy.

The story continues:
"Hussain intended to file a complaint against Park, but police officers tried to discourage him from doing so.
``They asked the two sides to apologize to each other. But I refused because I did nothing wrong,'' he said. "

Good for him. Notice the annoying Confucian practice inherent in the police officers' actions. Everyone make nice, everyone admit fault, everyone save face, preserve social unity, etc etc. As if the professor is somehow to blame for having brown skin and sitting on a bus. Apologize for your appearance, sir, after all if you looked Korean none of this would have happened - this could be the rationale behind the ameliorative suggestion. What an absurd society this can sometimes be.

Also from the story:
"
``It was not my first time to be subject to racial abuse. I have had many similar experiences. But this time was serious,'' he said. ``It wouldn't have happened to me if I were a white man.''
Hussain said he has no intention to withdraw the suit."

I'm pleased to hear he's going to continue with the suit. I hope this bastard gets what's coming to him. He's likely correct about the "white man" comment, as well. While my fair-skinned brethren and I are sometimes subject to this sort of behavior, there is no doubt that people from South-Asia (ethnically) get it a whole lot more, in this country, hell in most countries. So it goes.

Wide Open

Be thankful, my North American dwelling friends, for the space you have in your countries. You may be seriously lacking in quality kimchi and rarely does a hanbok flitter through your line of sight, but at least when you go to the pool, or the beach, or the park, you can stretch your legs a little bit, unlike your Asian cousins pictured below:

The Bicycle Thief

May God damn this person.

I bought a new bike a few weeks ago, for the usual reasons: it gets me around quicker, and it's a kind of exercise I actually enjoy (more or less). I used it everyday, and was really getting a kick out of it.

Two weeks in, I come home from a weekend away to find that the lock fastening my bike to the communal rail has been smashed by some sort of blunt implement, wielded no doubt by one who could be similarly described.

Well, after a few days I got myself a hacksaw and did away with that problem.

Which brings us to today. I rode my bike to work like I always do, secured it to a tree in front of the building like I always do, and left it alone for a few hours. When I came down 3-4 hours later for a smoke break, lo and behold!, the bike was gone and the (new) bike lock was open and lying in the street like a vagrant.

I know this sort of shit goes down everyday back home, but I thought here in Korea, land of smiles (well, close enough), land of the honest adjumma who'll clean your apartment and leave the stack of man-wons untouched I wouldn't have to deal with the sphincter crusts of humanity who are bicycle thieves.

Lesson learned.

Who are these fucktards who are having trouble with digital TV?

Meet Dennis Cuddy. He bought his converter antenna like a dutiful little soul. He set everything up for the big day, or so he thought. But, as it turns out, he can't get ABC or PBS nowadays.

The article tries to point out that it's not his fault, the local ABC affiliate needs some kind of power booster or something. But, Mr. Cuddy, it is your fault. Get fucking cable. Catch up with the rest of the world. Stop living in the 1950s. Then you won't have to miss a minute of "Regis & Kelly."

Matthew Brady I'm Not

It was at a distressingly recent moment in my past that I realized that despite being able to appreciate what makes for a good photograph, I am unable to reproduce those qualities in my own picture-taking. Nevertheless, I want to pass along some photos I recently shot in and around my neighborhood.

Not because they are any good, of course, but just because I realized the other day while formatting the memory card in my camera that during all my time in China I took only a half a dozen photos, none of them publishable. I don't mean to imply any sort of lurid goings-on. The Chinese photos in question were just of the typical insipid quality one finds in the photo albums of the perpetually bored: photos of shoe-less feet, spilled beer, roving cockroaches, etc. etc.

Anyway, without further introduction, some photos of my current neighborhood:

The view from my apartment-


My mostly obscured apartment building -

Bupyeong Gu Office -

The building with my hagwon, on the 6th floor (CIS) -

My Favorite Scenes in Film, the Top 5

#5

Despite what rottentomatoes.com has to say, this is still the best Star Trek film, and this is the best moment in it:


#4

Like the Star Wars franchise, there are so many moments to pick from in the Godfather films. But this scene really is the turning point, and it was beautifully written/shot/choreographed/acted.


#3

Eyes Wide Shut is one of those movies you either love or hate, and I fall in with the former, of course. I have a little bit of an obsession with secret societies, and that's partly why I enjoy this scene so much. But I also think it's exceptional because it, like the movie that envelops it, and to go a bit grandiose - like life, is imperfect, unfulfilled, and never fully understood. Kubrick's last flick was his best, enjoy:


#2
No one, and I mean no one (here's lookin' at you, Tarantino) uses music to supplement the story better than Martin Scorcese. Likewise no one gives us better biopics of American capitalist/criminals, our heroic villains, our latter day Gatsbys. The best scene in his best film:


#1
Casablanca may not always be considered a great film. Myopic movie-watchers of the future may frown on the moral certitudes it presents, its stereotypes and caricatures...they may even call it propaganda. But has the cause of the people and of liberty ever been better rendered in film? If it has, I haven't seen it. By far my all time favorite cinematic scene:

My Favorite Scenes in Film

I waste a lot of time on youtube, so I took a little time nosing around to see which of my favorite film scenes I could find. I couldn't find everything, but here are some of them. #s 10-6

#10

Number 10 and I'm already cheating. Two scenes follow, actually, in part because I couldn't find the exact scene from this director I was looking for (the sisters' lunch scene from Hannah and Her Sisters). But these will certainly suffice:

The "d'jew?" scene from Annie Hall:


And the opening of Manhattan:


#9

This is from a movie called "Funny Games," which is one of those films you can't really recommend because it is so intense and so disturbing that to do so makes you seem like a weirdo in the recommendee's eyes. But I saw this flick last year and it rocked me to the core, especially this scene:


#8

It's hard to choose a scene from the Star Wars saga, because in the original trilogy there are so many classic moments. But I think Luke and Vader's final confrontation, despite the weaknesses of Return of the Jedi, is still the highlight of the entire series:


#7

I was lucky the first time I saw Rear Window, in that I genuinely didn't know what was going to happen and brought nothing with me to the viewing experience beforehand. For many first-time viewers nowadays, that may not be the case. Nonetheless, the climactic scene is still great:


#6

If you ask someone who's seen it, they'll probably tell you Heat is a great film. Then why the **** doesn't it get more credit? It seems to be the great film that everyone forgets to mention. The heist scene in it is the best of its kind, and one of the best scenes in film IMO:


1-5 to come later.

The English Empire

This article explains why I will always have a job. Well, unless, non-native speakers in countries like Korea learn the language well enough that they could speak it to their students...haha, like that would ever happen.

I also dig the spelling mistake in the pic from China, there...it's supposed to say "One World One Dream." Yup, that about sums the whole thing up.

English Teachers Harming Korea, Again

This time kind it's actually kind of true, and not an exaggeration in the media about drugs/sex/pederasts/etc., though it's no fault of the teachers in question.

An English teacher brought swine flu with her into the country not too long ago, hung out with a bunch of other waegukins, and they all wound up being put in quarantine. You can read their blog about their ongoing ordeal here.

And here's another one.

Roger and Me

Hey! HEY! Look over here! You're not going to be distracted from my witty musings by some soft core porn, are you?

Seriously, I searched google images for "star trek" and that was one of the first images that popped up. So, I thought, why not? Besides, it's a shame Enterprise was canceled just as it was hitting its stride.

But I digress. The point of this post is thus: I have come here to bury Star Trek, not to praise it. As far as I can tell, in the near future, the Star Trek that we pasty corpulent bug-eyed geeks loved a little too much, well, that Star Trek is dead. Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek is long gone.

I saw the movie. I saw it the first day it came out, in one of the first screenings. I couldn't wait to jump into it. And for the first 30 minutes or so, I was really digging it.

But then something stupid happened. Then another fortuitous dodge, another lucky duck, another chase scene, another witty line dropped perfectly post-action scene-climax, another wink at the camera, another unBElievable coincidence, another shot of the inarticulate brooding villain in his cavernous pointy Death Star, another Ewok scene (yes, by Zeus' beard there's an actual Ewok in this movie (Scotty's sidekick)), another shot of Winona Ryder attempting to emote...and...I'd had enough.

This is an action movie. Don't get me wrong, I like action movies. I like action movies because they're an excuse to have a carefree 2 hours and down a bucket of popcorn. But Star Trek is supposed to be something more than that. It is supposed to have a message. Yeah, that means it won't always be as popular as franchises like Star Wars or Die Hard. But it will be better. And by trying to blend those two popular film series and slapping the name "Star Trek" on the regurgitated steaming pile of excrement you've produced, you're devaluing the series overall. And that pisses me off.

Yes, I'm a geek, and yes there's a great Onion story that essentially zings me (see below), but at least I'm not completely alone in this view. Roger Ebert essentially agrees with me (or less presumptively, I with him). So I guess I'll have to take solace in that.


Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'